An important Valentine message, courtesy of His influencer

CARLO'S A CUTIE ALRIGHT: What's not to love?

Earlier this week--and for reasons I'll explain in a minute--I was researching the newest appointment to the Vatican's roster of saints, namely, Carlo Acutis--patron of the Internet--when I uncovered a bit of intel that might bring down a multi-billion-dollar industry.

I am of course referring to the Valentine's Day business.

This is serious. And I apologize in advance for any broken hearts that result.

But at this point, you're like, "Hold on a second. Did you just say 'patron of the Internet'????" 

I did. And there's a darn good reason I was looking him up and why he is interrupting this important breaking news story.

Thursday I was lucky enough to attend the annual Canadian Online Publishing Awards, held at the Dim Sum King in downtown Toronto. The event celebrates some of the finest Internet-based journalism in the country. I was a judge in the 2025 competition.

I thought, "Wouldn't it be cool to tell the awards giver-outers about the cool new guardian angel of social media? A saint they can call their own! Maybe even name an award after him, like Oscar."

In other words, I was doing serious journalism.

For the moment, all you need to know about Carlo is this: 

He was born in Monza, Italy. Carlo was on this side of eternity from May 3, 1991 until he died of a horrible ailment called acute promyelocytic luekemia on Oct. 12, 2006. (Oct.12 is his feast day.) He spent so much of his short time here using tech to spread the Word in all manner of social media formats with such miraculous results--Vatican saint people say--that Carlo the kid became Carlo the very first millennial to be canonized, on  Sept 2, 2025.

VALENTINE'S DAY. MASSACRED: One upside
is,  Al Capone's dreadful VD-memory... cancelled!

Check out his website.

By now you're asking, "What has this got to do with Valentine's Day?"

In doing my research, I learned this: 

In I969, the Vatican removed Valentine and a couple of dozen other saints from the general church calendar.  

While they didn't take away Val's saint licence, he in effect lost his day job. Read about it here.

I know my theory would hold up in court. 

It's not easy being a messenger.  And I apologize in advance to Hallmark, chocolatiers and manufacturers of tacky lingerie everywhere. 

As far as I can tell, Feb. 14 is no longer St. Valentine's Day. End of story. Full stop.

I warned you this was big.

But I am only one man. I'm hardly in a position to come up with a remedy to what I foresee is a huge fallout. 

The only thing I can think is, forget about this one day. 

Cover your bases. If you love someone, do nice stuff for them every day. All year long. With all your might. Why take chances? I bet even the candy companies would be down with this.

I'm sure Carlo would give my notion a like.