"I think I may need some executive coaching. Is that one of the suite of services offered by Pete's Blog & Grille?"
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PUTTING THE BILL INTO PLAYBILL: I swiped my cousin-in-law's photo off the Facebook account of the little person on the left. Pretty sure. |
I told him that we here at Pete's B&G hadn't yet fully developed our full "suite" of executive coaching services but I'd have something ready when he got back from his stroll. (That's where Johns go, right? Haha)
So here it is:
10 tips guaranteed to catapult you to the very top of the corporation. In no discernible order, and with no proven results.
10) Start close to the top. It's way easier to be appointed president if you start as vice president.
9) Sucking up is under-rated. Do what you're told. That might be the single most important rule you'll ever learn in school. Nobody I've ever met in any context enjoys being told they're wrong, about anything. The only thing worse than being informed you're mistaken is having it proved to you, especially when others are watching. Just yesterday, I watched the excellent Netflix movie Whiplash about a (supposedly) 19-year-old drummer who defies his bully conductor only to prove to the world that he's as good a drummer as Buddy Rich. Elaine Benes would put it this way: "Fake! Fake! Fake!" I suck at doing what I'm told.
8) Speaking of sucking up, my wife many jobs ago told me I spent a lot of time"sucking down." Time I could have put to good use polishing the brass's brass I used talking to the building-maintenance guy about Dustbane, that stuff Mr. Dorigo the St. Albert's school custodian cleaned up kids' barf with. It's a smell you don't forget. The Dustbane. Barf too.
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JIM'S DANDY: Cormier would have seen through this cheap excuse to run his photo just to attract readers. And he'd have approved. (I think it was the baby's FB account I stole this great pic from.) |
6) Stay on topic.
5) Wanna hear something funny? I was already on journalism job number four--at Chimo Media in Toronto--the very first time that any journalist I knew refer to what he was doing as a "career." It was another role model of mine, the late Jim Cormier. Jim was considering a move to another magazine and said "I have to think about how this would affect my career." I asked him to repeat it. Nobody in my "wingin'-it" universe had ever used that word before.
4) If Jim were alive I know he would actually be at the top of his profession, because that's the way he rolled. Very smart, ambitious but kind, way too good looking, funny and likeable besides. So this tip should actually read, "be more like Jim Cormier".
3) And forget about the sticking to plans.
2) And next to finally, if you're reading Pete's Blog&Grille for executive coaching advice, you might as well isskay ouryay areercay olongsay.
1) Sorry. Thought I had 10. I was wrong. Godspeed (whatever that means) your career dreams John.