Sunday, June 7, 2020

A Public Service Message. From a Cat.

Yesterday, one of my sisters called wondering about the well-being of our cat Iris. She was worried because she hadn't seen any Iris in the window messages recently.
TINY TALON TIME: Most of the summer;
Iris is the missing lynx.

I happily told her Iris is indeed healthy but there's been precious little Iris-sign action because for some reason, Iris takes the summers off. 

Same thing happened in 2018 and 2019 and I can hardly believe what I just wrote because it means I've been playing handservant rather pawservant to a cat for going on two and a half years. But never mind that. 

Others have enquired about Iris's health, too.

So this very morning, I decided to write a quick blog about Iris taking her summer holiday.

I started writing at 7:30 a.m. It is now just past 10:00. (Now you're like--this takes him how long????) 

Here's the thing. And also, here's what my life has come down to: I finished the blog, re-read it, was satisfied and was just about to hit "Publish" and what does the friggin' cat do? 

She climbs up behind the sign. For the first time in almost a month! That sign was created and stuck in place on May 21 and left unphotographed because Iris hadn't gone near it. But the moment I want to explain to the world why she's MIA, up she goes. As if she knew.

So I had to stop typing, find my phone, get my sandals on, quietly open the front door to go outside hoping my movements didn't disturb her, sneak up to the front window, get a picture without too much glare and then come back in and make a liar out of myself by posting a new Iris picture.

Still. I'm not about to waste those two and a half  hours. (Some would say:"too late!")

But if Iris the cat did not just moments ago play an award-winning practical joke on yours truly,  this is the blog you would have read.

Pete's Blog&Grille: Summer's Like Giving A Cat A Tonic.

Today is Word Day here at Pete's Blog&Grille and today's word is "Amanuensis." According to Wikipedia  an amanuensis is "a person employed to write or type what another dictates."

Used in a sentence? "Way too many people think Peter is Iris the Cat's amanuensis." Like I take dictation. 

From a cat.
SIGN OF SUMMER: Come the warm
weather, Iris has better things to do

My neighbour Steve's one of those people. I've known and liked Steve for years, but here's him, while walking his dog past my house yesterday:  "Hey Peter. So what's Iris's message for today?"

Iris's message. 

Do people go up to Jeff Dunham, the ventriloquist whose main character is Achmed the Dead Terrorist and say things like, "Oh that Achmed. He has such great timing."  Come to think of it, they probably do.

My sister Charlene once called Iris "wise." She's never called me that.

But she did call the other day to ask about Iris's well-being. Evidently Charlene and my sister Mary had noticed there'd been no new signs recently and were worried about Iris's health. 

So no. Iris, like Paul, is not dead. 

But just like she did over the summers of  2018 and 2019, Iris The Cat seems to be taking a little time off.. During the hot weather, she prefers greeting and getting petted by kids who stop at the little library out in front of the house. But sitting in the window behind the sign she's not.

Plus can you believe that this ridiculous Iris sign in the window thing is going into its third year. This is scary. 

I need a project.

If I don't get cracking at a real contribution; say, helping the poor or, like, desalinating the ocean so everybody can have fresh water, my entire obit, when the time comes, is going to be all about a cat. 

1 comment:

  1. Such a wonderful, cat-like, perverse thing to do. That's one of their talents, making liars of us. :-)