Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Not until you see the whites of her Iris

CHARLIE FARQUHARSON; a.k.a., Don Harron, 
ripe for a hair on the couch pun

April 28, 2021, 7:35 a.m. 

That's when it dawned on me. (Or, as the late statesman Charlie Farquharson put it,  'it's always darkest before it dawns on ya.'")

White hair. 

Most governor generals, at least the two that I met, had white hair.  Professor Iris Cat has the whitest hair of anybody I know. Exhibit A: Our red couch. 

Here's the thing. 

Canada has been without a governor general since January. Lord knows how the country has survived this vacuum. (Insert DIY couch joke here!) 

Governor general chores, whatever they may be, must piling up like dirty dishes.

Governor general footguards are likely really tired of standing at attention, waiting for their next orders. The governor general's dish doer must be even more bored than the rest of us.

The situation is urgent. 

As political as she's ever gotten.
That's why we're urging all Canadian readers of PetesBlog&Grille to write your MPs and get them to urge Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to get on the stick and announce Iris's appointment. 

Governor generalships have long been given to senior citizens and Iris is at least 16 cat years old. 

We don't know exactly because she came to us from the pound. And wouldn't that make a lovely Netflix movie? Orphan foundling scratches, purrs and mews her way from the gritty back alleys of midtown Parkdale to the highest office in the land? 

Even better, governor general appointments go to semi-retired types who've already devoted the lion's share (!) of their lives to public service. 

If Iris hasn't devoted her up-to-now life to making people feel better, we here at Iris HQ will eat our bearskins, which is what they call the hats the governor general's footguards wear. We used to think they were called busbees and have no idea where that cockamaimy idea came from. Oftentimes, it seeem Iris HQ could be renamed "Cockamaimy Ideas Я Us."

But never mind that. 

Iris's super power is greeting people and making them feel good and as far as I can tell those are the governor general's two main jobs. 

Iris has never offended anybody and she can sit and stare at her public for hours on end. She'd be purrfect.

And neither would it be that much of a stretch to plunk Iris into the governor general's chair.

It wouldn't be the first time a plum government job went to some old white cat.

1 comment:

  1. I think that a cat for governear jeneral would be a wonderful hint to the rest of the world to enjoy life but I know there would be some even in this 'best country of all the world' would complain because we would be paying the GJ for sleeping 22 hours a day. And another thing why do they always emphasis "TAX PAYERS MONEY?" Where in the Sam Hill do that get it if not from us, so QED, common denominator, so shut up about it.