Meet Glad Lee the cross-eyed bear

"HEY CHATGPT": Would you please draw me
 a cross-eyed teddybear?

The following exchange happened a year and three weeks ago. I'm confident my version is accurate, because I've told the story so many times.  

Me, to the Pollock's Home Hardware cashier, whom I'd never seen before and who had a rather large bandage on her forearm that I was pointing at. These were the first words I said. No hello. No how are you. Just: "I am not going to ask you about that bandage."

Cashier, very calmly: "Negative capability."

Me. "What?"

C: "Negative capability. It's the ability to live confortably with mystery."

Me: "I thought that came from growing up Catholic. Ha ha."

C: "Ha-ha. Negative capability is a Keats thing. He coined it."

Me: "Keats the poet?"

C: "Yes."

Me: "Why do you know this?"

Her: "I have three degrees in poetry." 

And I have the coolest Home Hardware store on the planet.

Negative capability. My newly discovered super power. And another of the secrets to happiness: You don't have to know everything.

A second conversation, a few weeks later. 

My daughter Ria: "Dad can I borrow the car tomorrow afternoon from about one til five?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "Thank you." 

End of discussion.

Did I ask why she needs the car? I did not. Neither did I enquire who she was going with. Or where.

My life is no poorer for not knowing the answer to those and millions of other questions. 

You are reading a blog wrtten by the poster child of negative capability.

Yesterday, I figured out, in part, why. 

I was talking to my friend, a former Harrowsmith Country Life staff editor and author of more than 20 (!) books, Heather Grace Stewart. I mentioned that when I was a kid, one of the songs my very religious mom Huena used to sing was about accepting life's little burdens. 

The hymn focused on the idea of helping Jesus carry the cross up to Calvary to be crucified. Nice image, I  know.

Yet despite the gruesome picture, the song always brought a smile to my face. In fact it sort of cheered me up. 

The song? Gladly the Cross I'd Bear. 

Of course I thought it was about a vision-challenged animal named Glad Lee. Who wouldn't smile at the thought of a cross-eyed bear? 

Heather says "Have you blogged about this? Gosh you have to!"

So I fact checked Huena's song. 

Get this: No such hymn exists. 

My mom might have said something about Gladly the bear or even made a joke about the title, but Huena singing about Jesus and the cross? Couldn't have happened. 

I have no idea how Gladly the cross-eyed bear found his way into my brain.

I'm just glad he's there.  

Negative capability: Sometimes, not knowing is way more fun.