Harley har har

Here's the joke Ian the paramedic told while we were heading to St. Mike's hospital emerg after I crashed my beautiful Harley Sportster on a downtown Toronto street last Friday. 

IT ONLY HURT WHEN I LAUGHED: The neck
brace was just temporary and kept me from doing more harm to myself. 
You know, like those collars vets put on cats.

"A guy comes home from a visit to Mexico and says to his brother, 'We should start a bungee jumping business down there. I saw tons of rich tourists but no bungee jumping.' His brother agrees. They buy gear, head to Mexico and set up. The older brother says 'Let's do a test jump. You go first.'  The kid brother harnesses up and leaps. 

A few seconds later be bounces back, but when he comes back up, his brother notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Big brother tries to catch him but can't reach and the first guy goes down again. Happens twice more and each time, he's got more injuries. His brother finally catches him, pulls him to safety and asks,'What happened? Did you hit the ground? Was the cord too long?' 

The kid says 'No, the cord was fine. But what the heck's a pinata?'" 

That superb story was just one of the many wonderful things to come out my accident.

Another?

Food. I think my siblings competed to see who could get their sick-bay brother to eat more. At one point, sushi got delivered to my house just moments before a pile of Indian food showed up. 

Before that, a charcuterie board like I've never seen and afterwards, pizza. My kitchen was like I imagine the one at the UN is.

Friends arrived with beer! And more jokes. 

NOT SO MUCH AN ACCIDENT AS A
Provender bender

I told our neighbour Calvin that just two days before the incident I had purchased a fancy full face helmet and this was its first trip. I also mentioned that it saved my teeth but now had to be discarded. Calvin said, "So it went down on its maiden voyage. Like the Titanic." 

And get this: Monday after the crash, I was hobbling down the street, thinking I looked like one of my favourite TV characters, Frasier Crane's dad Marty. 

Another neighbour, Austin, caught up to me, which of course wasn't too difficult, and asked about the accident. He wondered if I'd be going to court. I told him no, I'm hoping to keep the legal stuff to a minimum. 

DICAPRIO AND I ARE IDENTICAL
when wearing our Titanic helmets.

Austin said, "I see. Just like your dad. At the bus station."

Austin had read Storyworthy! And you don't get to the part about my father being thrown through the picture window until about half through the book!

What a nuclear-fuelled compliment that was!  Austin actually paid attention to my memoir and he thought I was like my father! That alone was worth the sore bones.

For the record, (your honour, ha-ha) I was southbound on a downtown street mid-afternoon last Friday, going pretty slowly, when a driver in the adjacent lane veered right, knocking my bike down and me into St. Mike's emerg, where I got bandaged, x-rayed and, thankfully, sent home from. No broken bones; just a busted ego, and the bike was damaged a bit, too.

AUSTIN'S POWER: 
What a compliment!

How much worse could things have been? Lots.

For one thing, the accident happened at the beginning of the only rainy week of the summer. So I couldn't have been riding last week anyway!

And that extra helmet you see strapped to the back of my bike? My guardian angel's.

Finally, I have to agree with Dr. Rob Buckman who said, "Laughter is not the best medicine. Medicine is the best medicine. Laughter is the second-best medicine."

And the Canadian health care system? It might not be perfect but it's always been there when I needed it, bungee jokes and all.